Trust in Me
by went
Summary: After being apart for the better part of a year Derek finds Penelope in New York. Can he forgive her for the secret she kept and will her broken heart ever trust in his love again?
1. Chapter 1

Derek tried to concentrate on the sound of his shoes slapping against the concrete path trying to stop his thoughts from going to the one place his heart couldn't bear to go...Penelope. "Come on, man! One more mile! You're almost there! Keep it up! You got this!" He tried to encourage himself to push on and push thru to the it was too late; she invaded his head and his heart like a runaway train, and there was no stopping the onslaught of memories that came flooding back fast and furious.

Knowing he was done, he slowed his run to a jog then to a fast walk, and now he found himself strolling threw Central Park. Every time he closed his eyes, memories of his Baby Girl assaulted his heart. Finding a park bench to sit on, he let himself get lost in memories of her and what they once shared before it all came to an end. He remembered the sounds of her laughter, the feel of her silky hair running through his fingers, the way she smelled a fragrance that was so uniquely Penelope. The way her arms felt around him they made him fee like he was safe, grounded and truly home. His heart constricted in his chest, the pain of her being gone cutting him to the core. He tried to shake oft the heart ache. Trying to regain control over his raging emotions, he rebuilt the walls around his heart even higher and thicker than before.

He got up off the bench, ready to head back to the hotel. He had met his mom here in New York to have a little time together and to do some baby shopping for Desiree, who was soon expecting her first child. Fran knew that Derek was happy for his little sister, but she also knew he couldn't help but think about what could have been with Penelope. If only he had just been brave enough to tell her of his love for her instead of running for fear that he would do wrong by her and never be all that his God Given Solace deserved.

As he strolled along, a small boot laying on the path caught his eye as he bent over to pick it up. He couldn't help but smile; it was lime green with hot pink flowers on it. He laughed shaking his head it had to be the cutest and probably smallest little boot he had ever seen. Turning around, he scoured the crowd looking for the owner he saw a woman ahead and could see the straps of the child carrier she wore. He picked up to a jog to catch her.

"Excuse me?" he called. He received no response, so he tried again. "Excuse me, miss!" As he caught up to her, he reached out a hand and placed it on her upper arm. At the feel of a stranger's touch, the woman's arms instinctively went around the little girl she carried and held the babe close to her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, but it seems that Cinderella here has lost her glass slipper…or in this case boot," Derek said with a chuckle, holding the boot out in the palm of his hand. He had noticed the woman stiffen as he started to speak and started to really take in her appearance her honey blond hair was pulled back into a pony tail she was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a black hooded jacket that was covered in splashes of bright colors and a pair of simple white tennis shoes. He was close enough to be able to smell the vanilla brown sugar lotion she used. There was something familiar about her and his heart started to pound hard in his chest could it be after almost a year of searching, and hoping to find her could she actually be...

As she turned to face him, her dark brown eyes were open wide with shock, and he also picked up a little fear "Derek?" she whispered, so softly that he almost missed it.

"_Penelope_? Oh my God, Baby Girl, is it really you?" So many things were going through his head. Why was she in New York? Did she live here? Why had she left him and the team without a word to anyone? Why had she not contacted anyone? Was this baby hers?

His mind went a million miles a minute, jumping from question to question but not being able to ask a single one. He took a step back from her, his eyes devouring her. Her hair was still blonde, a little darker than he was used to, and it took everything he had not to reach out and see if it was as soft as it looked. She was thinner but still had some of the curves that he loved so much and knew by heart. And even though she looked tired, she glowed and was possibly even more beautiful than he remembered her to be.

** XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Penelope's eyes took in the man who stood before her, the man who she loved with all her heart but couldn't have. She stood there staring at him not able to believe that he was right there, close enough to touch. She almost did reach out to touch him just to make sure that her eyes and weary head weren't playing tricks on her but she knew that with the way her body reacted to his presence that this Derek was very much real. He was really truly there standing not two feet from her and then she started to panic. What was he doing in New York City? How had he found her? What did he know? Did he come alone?

Just then, the baby wiggled, she came back to the reality: that her daughter would soon wake and need to be fed. She bent and kissed the babe's head whispering to her gently, "Soon, Baby. We'll be home soon." Penelope rocked her back and forth to ease her daughter back to slumber. She reached out and took the boot from Derek's hand. "Thank you. We have lost more shoes, boots and socks than I can tell you". She gently placed the boot back onto her daughter's socked foot. Looking down at the babe and then to Derek again, she said, "Thanks again, Derek, but I really should get going she is going to need to be fed soon. It was great to see you. Take care." And with that, she spun on her heel and walked off as fast as she could.

** XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Derek stood there stunned for a moment. A "thank you" and a "take care"? Was she serious? After all this time, she thought that _that _was all he deserved? She thought that he would just let her walk away with no explanation?

_ Oh, hell no!_ Derek wanted answers, and he felt he deserved them now. He took off after her catching up to her quickly and reaching out to grab her arm, bringing her to a halt. "Slow your roll, woman! I have questions, and as your best friend, I deserve some answers."

Penelope looked up into his eyes, and he could see the conflicting emotions battling just below the surface "Please, Derek, don't do this just let me go! This can't.. it _won't_ end well."

"Let you go? What are you talking about? Hell, no! I won't let you go until I get the answers I deserve, Penelope! So what's it going to be Penelope? We can have this little heart to heart here in the middle of Central Park, or we can take it home to your place either way Baby Girl it's going to happen" The determined look on his face let her know there was no way he was going to just walk away and that the confrontation that she was not prepared for and was hoping to avoid for jus a while longer was about to take place right here.

Now.

Today.


	2. Chapter 2

Penelope in near panic mode scolded herself to calm down. _Think Penelope! _she told herself._ Think, think, think!_ "Here's an idea: how about I give you my address, and you can meet up with us there in, say…an hour? That will give me time to get ready, and then I can answer all your questions." She plastered what she was hoping was an honest and trustworthy smile on her face.

Derek threw his head back and roared with laughter. "Baby Girl, if you think I am falling for that, you overestimate how wrapped around your little finger I am. I know you well enough to know that an hour from now I will be standing outside the laundry mat for the address you gave me, while you are back to hiding away God only knows where. So nuh uh. No way, Baby Girl" He smirked at her. "So here is a better idea: since I left the SUV at the hotel for Momma to use while I went out for my run, how about I just join you now, and you can drive us back to your place."

Penelope groaned inwardly. Damn him for knowing her so well! How the hell was she going to get out of this? There was no way she was taking him home once he knew the truth. If he knew where she lived, she would have no where to hide to keep Natalie safe and with her. The squirming baby brought her back to reality and to the realization that she was going to have to do something and fast. So she went for the truth "Derek, I'm begging you please just let this go. Once you open this can of worms, you can't reclose it; you can't go back." Her eyes filled with tears."Please, Derek. Just turn around and walk away go home!"

Derek softened, seeing the tears in her eyes and knowing how unhappy she was to be in this position, and briefly he felt bad for her but then he thought about the position that she had put him in for the last ten months and he felt himself grow angry. He deserved answers, and he was going to get them. He wasn't backing down or stepping away from this. "Sorry Penelope. Not going to happen, so stop trying to sway me on this. You don't get out of this until I get what I need."

Penelope sighed. "Where are you staying Derek?"

"We are staying at the Hotel Beacon," Derek replied.

"Well the hotel is closer than my place so let's grab the car and head there. Natalie will need to be fed soon, so I can feed her there and we can talk." Penelope hoped this worked she really didn't want to explain to him why she didn't want to take her back to her place.

"Natalie?" Derek asked. Penelope pointed to the head of dark curls. "Derek, meet Natalie. Natalie, meet Derek," she said, waving her hand between the two between the two of them. Penelope still held Natalie close to her body, placing a hand on the baby's head in an effort to conceal her from Derek's prying eyes.

"Natalie is a beautiful name, Penelope," Derek said as he tried to sneak a peek at the babe that Penelope had shielded from his eyes.

"Thank you, it was my mother's name. I like to think that she is tickled pink up there knowing that her granddaughter has her name." Penelope said with a small smile.

He hoped that by getting her to open up a little bit about her daughter, maybe she would become more comfortable with him. "What's her middle name?" As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was wrong by the look of panic and fear washed over Penelope's face.

Penelope tried to think of some way to avoid answering the question after all how could she tell him Natalie's middle name was Franchesca after her other grandmother without putting all her cards on the table and that was a hand she wasn't ready to play just yet.

Deciding to avoid answering the question at all, she suggested they leave. "We should probably get going. She is going to wake soon, and she is going to be hungry. If you want to avoid a sampling of her impressive vocal range, we need to get a move on."

"Ok sure do we need to stop by your place first and pick up some supplies?" He knew she was trying to keep him from her place, he didn't understand why, and he was desperate to know how to find her, know where she was, and know that she was safe but she wasn't giving it up not yet anyway. "No no, we're ok. The diaper bag is stocked, I have a Moses basket in the car that she can nap in after she eats, and since I'm still breastfeeding…well no need to pick up bottles and such so we're ready to go."

"Penelope?" Derek asked not sure how to brooch this question so he decided to just on and ask. "Do you need to call your husband?" He stole a quick look at her left hand and breathed out a sigh of relief noticing that her finger has bare.

"What?" Penelope asked, clearly confused.

"Your husband?" Derek asked raising an eyebrow. "Boyfriend?" Still seeing the confused look on Penelope's face. "Penelope, Natalie's dad? Do you need to call him and let him know where you are going will he not be expecting you back?"

"Oh, him?" Penelope replied laughing nervously "No, no one to call. It's all good."

Derek had been trying to keep calm and collected, but this was too much. Now his thoughts were clouded with worry. "Penelope, are you doing this on your own? Is he not helping you? Are you not together? Does he not want Natalie?"

Penelope sighed and looked into Derek's eyes she saw the worry and concern there. She reached her hand out and took a hold of his, allowing herself a moment to enjoy the feel of her hand in his. For these few stolen moments, they were just a normal family enjoying a walk in the park she had her family together. She knew in her heart what she had to do, ready or not. She had to tell him everything. "Handsome, let's just get to the hotel, okay? And I promise you, I will tell you everything."

Hearing her use his nickname brought such joy to his heart he swore it skipped a beat. He flashed her his thousand-watt Morgan smile. "Ok Baby Girl. Let's get this show on the road."

As they neared the parking lot Derek shook his head in disbelief. "Penelope, Esther is still on the road?"

"Hell yah !" Penelope said. "You can't keep a good girl down." She unlocked Derek's door. "Go ahead and get in while I get Natalie settled in the back."

"I don't mind sitting in the back with her," Derek offered. "That way if she wakes, she won't be alone." Truth be told, curiosity had gotten the better of Derek and other than a head full of dark curly hair he hadn't managed even a peak at Natalie. He couldn't help but wonder what she looked like. Was Lynch her father? Is that where her dark hair came from? Did she have Penelope's nose, had she been blessed with Penelope's lips and smile?

He hated to admit it but he was almost desperate to get a peak at the little girl that Penelope was raising on her own. As his thoughts went back to his Baby Girl being a single mom, his heart couldn't help but ache for her he remembered all to well what his own momma had gone threw raising three kids on her own. Granted Fran had three kids when she found herself in the role of single mom, but her kids had been older, and she had her sister to pitch in and help when it was really needed. He couldn't help but wonder who was helping Penelope? Was she really truly on her own? He couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since she had had a full night sleep, eaten a hot meal, or been able to soak in a tub of bubbles that he knew she loved so much.

Penelope broke his train of thought when she assured him that Natalie would be fine riding in the back on her own. All Penelope wanted to do was get Natalie from her carrier in to her car seat and covered up before Derek could see the secret that she had been keeping form him. Penelope got Natalie out of the carrier and quickly slid her into her car seat. Derek was busy watching Penelope in the rearview mirror he could see the dark circles under her eyes the sleepless nights beginning to take their toll but as she looked at her daughter while strapping her into the car seat, whispering soothing words of love to Natalie. She gave her daughter a smile that absolutely made her glow with love, and she was so beautiful that she stole his breath away.

Penelope got up into the driver's seat. As she reached over to buckle her belt, Derek took it from her. "I got ya," he said as he clipped it in and gave her a small smile. With that one simple act, he showed that he still cared; he was still looking to protect her. She looked over into his eyes and swallowed past the lump in her throat. "Derek, I know that things tonight are going to get ugly, that things are going to get said, and that feelings are going to get hurt. But I need you to hear me now while we are still level headed. Please hear me when I say to you that I never ever meant to hurt you. I know that I did, but I really did do what I thought was best for us. Just please please know that." Not being able to resist, she reached out and caressed his cheek. She knew that with the storm that was brewing, she may never again get the chance to touch him again, and she would never forgive herself if she didn't take this opportunity now to do so.

Derek placed his hand over hers, and leaned into her caress "I hear you, Baby Girl." He felt uneasy knowing that with the way Penelope was acting, something big was going to happen. The tears that had been threatening to fall from Penelope's eyes now fell. It had felt like forever since he had called her a nickname, touched her, loved her. Her heart had been wanting for this for so long, and even though it would be short lived, she was going to savor every moment .

Penelope gave Derek a small smile, wiped away her tears and started up Esther "And we are off,"she said.


	3. Chapter 3

The drive to Derek's hotel was silent, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Derek trying to organize all the questions running around in his head, and Penelope was trying to ready herself for the confrontation that she knew was to come.

As the entered the hotel room Derek called out for Fran. When he received no answer, he shook his head with a laugh and said "She must have gotten tired of waiting and went ahead shopping without me."

"You know if you wanted you could call her and find out where she is, I could drop you off, and then you wouldn't have to miss out on anymore time with your mom. I know these times together are far and few between Derek." Penelope's offer was genuine; she knew how much Derek loved his mom, and she knew they didn't get nearly enough time together.

"Seems that time with my best friend is even harder to come by,"Derek mumbled. "Momma will understand."

Natalie let out a howl, announcing her presence and letting Penelope know that she was ready for lunch to be served. Derek walked into his room and put the diaper bag and the moses basket down on his bed.

"You can feed her in here if you like. You'll have some privacy that way. Do you need anything?"he asked nervously, wanting to help but being unsure of what to do.

"Could you pass me one of the pillows off the bed. I'll just put it behind my back on the arm chair, and I will be all set."

Derek took the pillow and set it in the armchair. "Will that work okay?"

"It's perfect. Thank you, Derek."

"You're welcome, Penelope. I'll just wait for you in the living room."He didn't want to leave her, but he knew there was nothing he could do to help.

Natalie started to holler even louder, letting it be known that she was not happy about being kept waiting. "Wow, you weren't kidding about that vocal range,"Derek said with a chuckle.

"You ain't seen nothing yet,"Penelope said with a laugh.

"I'll be on my way then,"Derek said, pulling the bedroom door closed behind him.

Penelope quickly got Natalie out of her car seat."Okay, Peach. It's coming, it's coming! Sorry for the hold up." Penelope got settled and Natalie wasted no time getting down to business and was soon settled into a rhythm of _suck,_ _suck,_ _pause_. Penelope stroked Natalie's cheek and made her daughter a promise. "He's here now, Peach, and he is going to be more angry at your momma than he ever has been before. I swear to you I will do everything that I can to make this okay, and if he wants to be a part of your life than I will do whatever I have to to make that happen."

All too soon for Penelope, Natalie was fed, burped, changed and fast asleep in the moses basket. Penelope stepped out of the room and left the door slightly ajar. She prepared herself for what may very well be the fight of her life.

As she looked over at Derek, her heart soared and felt like it was crashing all at the same time. He was close enough for her to reach out and touch. He took her breath away and made her heart skip a beat. He was the love of her life, the one man who had shown her how to truly make love and showed her how it felt to be loved.

He was also the man who had broken her heart. He was the man who made her feel like her heart had been ripped out of her chest when he chose another woman to share his love and life with. As she remembered the hurt, embarrassment, shame and anger that he had delivered unto her a year ago, she felt what was left over of her heart harden.

Preparing herself for the conflict that she knew was to come, she stood tall, squared her shoulders and faced him. "Okay Derek, let's talk."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Derek had watched Penelope emerge from the bedroom he had stared at the door so hard for what felt like so long he was surprised he didn't burn a hole through it. The Penelope who faced him now was not the same Penelope who had exited the bedroom.

When she first turned to face him, he saw the emotion in her eyes; it was a mixture of guilt, shame, and —dare he hope —a look that he thought was love. But then he watched the transformation happen. Her face became blank and unreadable, her eyes cleared of anything she felt. And her demeanor changed to that of someone going on the defensive and going to war . She was defiant, and she was going to stand her ground. He knew something big was about to happen.

He cleared his throat. "I called Mom. She'll be about an hour, so that should give us time to talk."

"Does she know I'm here?" Penelope asked. She was not prepared for what was about to go on with Derek and to have to go threw it with Fran too it almost seemed like too much.

"No, I didn't tell her. I thought we would surprise her,"Derek said with a grin.

"Oh, she'll be surprised alright," Penelope muttered under her breath.

Penelope putting as much distance as she could between them chose to sit in the chair across from the sofa that Derek sat on. "Well then, we better get started." Penelope took a deep breath and began.

"After the…after.. _that night_…we shared and then the next morning, I knew that things had changed and I had lost you." Trying to distract herself from the dull ache in her chest, she began to bounce her right leg.

Derek interrupted her."Pen-"

Penelope stopped him. "Derek, please just let me say this. If I don't do this now, I may never be able to get it all out. So please…just listen." Penelope got up from where she had been sitting and began pacing the room, just trying to stay upright to prevent herself from curling up into a ball and begging him not to make her do this. But she knew that she wouldn't and couldn't do that, so she wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to hold herself together.

"The truth is that night was like nothing I had _ever_ experienced before. Being with you…Derek, I had never felt so loved or complete in my whole life. Suddenly I knew what real true love felt like, and I never ever wanted to let that feeling go. For me that night was life changing."

Derek interrupted her again "It was for me, too, Angel."

Penelope couldn't stop the venom that dripped from her lips "You apologized, Derek! That night I finally truly gave myself to someone."Penelope stopped pacing and shook her head. "No, not just someone! Derek, I gave my heart to you." She spat out and jabbed a finger at him. "And you gave it back to me telling me that it had all been a mistake."

He could see in her face that she was trying to remember she was searching for the words and said, "That never should have happened Penelope. I'm so sorry, Baby Girl."

She looked into his eyes meeting his gaze. He could see the devastation on her face "Isn't that how you put it that morning? So don't you dare sit there and tell me that that night meant as much to you as it meant to me when we both know that that's a damn lie!"

Derek's heart plummeted. She had it wrong…she had it so wrong. "Penelope, that wasn't what I meant! Everything that morning came out wrong! You left so damn fast I didn't get a chance to try and explain myself to you,"Derek pleaded for understanding.

But Penelope would hear none of it. "Damn straight, I left as fast as I could! I couldn't handle the look of regret on your face. 'I'm sorry this never should have happened'can only mean so many things, Derek. So I left, and when I got back you were gone. No note, no phone calls. Just…nothing. But I got the message loud and clear that night was the end of us."

When he opened his mouth again to speak Penelope raised a hand to silence him and began speaking again. "Everything changed. We couldn't look at each other, we couldn't speak to one another. Hell, we could barely stand to be in the same room! We were _over_. I felt like I was drowning, I was broken hearted and I had no one to turn to. I couldn't tell JJ or Emily. I didn't want to share us with them, especially when it ended in my heartache. They would have been so angry with you no matter how hard they would have tried to see both sides. As my best friends they would have resented you for hurting me. So I pulled back, I retreated to my lair, and I stopped going out with the team. I tried to make this as easy on us and on them as I could."

Derek shook his head. "I'm sorry, Penelope. I never meant for you to become so isolated. In all honesty, I hadn't even noticed how much you had pulled away from us all until you were already gone."Derek hung his head in shame. He had never ever meant to hurt her like that he broke her heart and was so busy trying to bury everything that he had been feeling, he never even noticed her slipping away from all of them.

"Derek, it was my choice; I didn't want anyone to notice. I just wanted to retreat and lick my wounds and be left alone. Luckily for me, the cases came in fast and furious, so it was easy to distance myself when no one was hardly ever around."

She started to pace faster. This was it she was about to come clean and she was terrified but she turned to look Derek in the eye and continued on." Just before Valentine's day I got sick ." Derek's head shot up the concern written all over his face. "I was tired, nauseous and just didn't feel…right. I went to the doctor, and he confirmed my suspicion: I was pregnant."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Now is probably a good time to mention that I don't own a dang thing

A/N I want to thank evgrrl09 for being so awesome and taking the time to fix everything that I send her so you guys can not only read it but understand it. you are amazing! thank you thank you thank you

Derek sat, feeling like he had gotten the wind knocked out of him. He felt like he couldn't get air to his lungs. He kept shaking his head, trying to clear the ringing in his ears. It was all he could hear, and it was so loud it was making him nauseous. He felt light headed and faint. Penelope's words were racing through his brain. _She had been pregnant...Penelope had been pregnant? _he thought. The realization was enough to make his head snap up, searching her eyes for the answers he sought.

"Oh no, Penelope...tell me you didn't..." He was on his feet, wanting to move but feeling like he was rooted in place . "Penelope," he panted, unable to breathe. "Tell me you didn't keep her from me."

He looked back at Penelope. She was weeping into her hands. Finally, with a burst of adrenaline, he was able to move, and he rushed into the followed Derek stopping in the doorway wanting to give him some space but also wanting to see as he saw Natalie for the first time. As soon as his eyes fell upon the sleeping baby, there was no doubt in his mind that Natalie was his daughter. Gingerly, he picked her up off of the bed and held her up to his face so he could take all of her in. His eyes raked over her sleeping form, taking in every inch of her. The top of her head was covered in a mass of dark curls, and her skin was a shade of café au lait. She had Penelope's nose and lips, but her chin and eyes were all him. He couldn't help but smile.

"You kept her from me, Penelope," he growled, holding his daughter close to his chest. Penelope stood, watching Derek as he studied their daughter's face taking in her every feature. She had wanted this moment for so long, but not like this. It was nothing like the sweet daydreams she had dared hope for. She wasn't even sure what she hoped for, but this wasn't it . She had wanted to be prepared, explain everything to him and make him understand, but now she couldn't find the words. She wanted them to be at Derek's somewhere where they could both take comfort in the familiar surroundings, not in a hotel room in the middle of New York. She knew that he would be hurt and angry and now she was realizing that there was nothing that she could do to change it or make it better.

"I did what I felt was best, Derek," Penelope said, her voice rising slightly, preparing for the attack she knew coming.

Derek kissed Natalie's forehead and gave her one last lingering look before he placed her back on the bed. Truth was, he didn't want to put her down; he wanted to hold her and never let her go. But the emotions that he had raging inside of him, and the words that he needed to get out, were better said away from a child.

He stormed past Penelope and stalked off into the living room. He began pacing, his hands running along the back of his head. His breathing was coming out in angry puffs, and he knew he needed to reel himself in and regain some sense of control. He didn't know what to do with the absolute rage that poured through his veins. All he wanted to do was lash out at Penelope and make her hurt, too.

_What the hell was she thinkin_g? _Why would she feel the_ _need to keep our daughter from me_? he thought.

"What you _felt was best_? Keeping our baby -my daughter! - away from me? Who the hell are you to decide what is best for my child?" Penelope went to interrupt him, but he didn't stop to give her a chance to speak. "What would make you think she was so much better without me? What could possibly keep you from telling me about her?"

"I'm her mother. I had every right to make the decision that I felt was best for her," Penelope yelled.

"Newsflash Penelope: I am her father, and I should have been told. I had a right to know." He let out a groan of frustration. "Did you think I would just reject her and run?" Derek was all but roaring at her now.

Just then, Fran came bursting through the hotel room door. "Derek, what in the world is going on in here? I can hear you yelling clear down the hall!"

Derek saw the look of shock on Fran's face when her eyes fell on Penelope, but there was something else there. He could have sworn it was understanding like suddenly everything made sense, but the look was gone the next instant when told them that she was going to put her bags in her room and would be back shortly.

Derek looked at Penelope he could see she was trying to regain control of her emotions. Before she even opened her mouth he knew she was going to try and calm him, reason with him but for now he wanted no part of it.

Penelope took a deep breath and began to speak. "Derek I-"

"Save it, Penelope," Derek growled, shaking his head. "I don't think I can ever forgive you for this. I had no idea that you had this side to you. I wonder if I ever really knew you at all. You aren't at all the woman I thought you were . He shoved open the balcony door and stepped outside, letting the evening air cool down his fire-hot skin _How could she? How dare she? _he thought_._ Closing his eyes, all he could see was Natalie's sweet face she didn't even know he existed and with that thought his tears began to fall.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As Derek stepped outside, Penelope dropped to the couch her tears came. She felt the couch dip and turned to look into Fran's questioning eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but words failed her. Fran reached out and took Penelope's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Penelope?" Fran asked. "Where's the baby?"

Penelope looked up at her and whispered, "Derek's room."

"Don't you think it's time to introduce us?" Penelope offered Fran up a weak smile and Fran reached out for her hand "Come on introduce me to her ."

As they neared the bedroom door Penelope stopped and turned to Fran and pulled her into a fierce hug.

Fran hugged her back. "I promise you whatever happens, we will be okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Derek stood outside on the balcony, listening to his mother ask Penelope about the baby. How did Fran even know about Natalie? Had she been in on the deceit, too? He shook his head. No, there was no way his mother would have agreed to keep something like this from him. His thoughts wandered ,he knew Penelope, she was his best friend and she loved him, she would never willingly hurt him like this . He knew there had to be more a lot more going on. The only way he was going to get the answers he needed was to do the one thing that he didn't know if he could do: he was going to have to talk to Penelope.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Derek followed them to the bedroom and stood in the doorway he watched as Penelope scooped up a still sleeping Natalie and held her tight placing a kiss on her forehead. As she turned to face, Fran her eyes met with Derek's. He watched as she walked past Fran and handed him Natalie. "You should really do the honors," she whispered. She then walked past him and out of the bedroom closing the door behind her.

Fran looked at Derek, her eyes filling with tears. "Oh, Baby Boy," she whispered.

"Mom," Derek choked out as tears filled his eyes. "I'd like to introduce you to Natalie..your granddaughter."


	5. Chapter 5

One look at Natalie's sweet little face and all of Fran's questions were answered: Penelope's odd behavior when they met in New York, the request of Fran to not tell Derek of their meeting, the confrontation between Penelope and Tamara, Derek's anger towards Penelope. Suddenly it all made sense.

Fran took the sweet little girl from Derek's arms said, "Hi Natalie, I'm your grandma Fran and I love you so much."

Derek watched Fran with Natalie for a few minutes. It was all so surreal: his mother was holding his daughter. It was almost too good to true. With a shake of his head, he left a gushing Fran doting over her granddaughter and went to rejoin Penelope.

Fran looked up. "Derek," she said as she looked him in the eyes. "My grand daughter is sleeping in here. Try and keep it down." With that, she looked back down at Natalie. She stroked her cheek, whispering, "You look so much like your daddy, yes you do." Derek couldn't help but smile. Grandma Morgan was in the house and no one better disturb her grandbaby's sleep or they would bare her wrath.

Derek could see Penelope outside on the balcony her hair blowing in the gentle breeze. He could see the trail of fresh shed tears that rolled down her cheeks. She looked alone and broken and his heart went out to her. But just as quickly he was reminded of what she had done and what she had denied him.

Penelope dried her tears and walked back inside. Derek sat on the couch and held his head in his hands.

"Why couldn't you tell me Penelope? What made you feel that my daughter was so much better off without knowing me?" he stared into Penelope's eyes, searching for the answers that only she had.

"Derek, I never ever thought that Natalie was better off without you." Derek looked at her and gave her unbelieving sneer shaking his head. "The hardest decision I ever made was to keep her from you, but at the time I felt it was the only decision I had," Penelope said, giving her head a nod as she seemed to reaffirm her decision.

"Really Penelope? I would love to know why you thou-" He didn't get a chance to finish as Penelope interrupted him.

"You had already moved on, Derek! You had already moved past us, past me. I knew that you didn't love me...you had never loved me," she said as her eyes filled with tears and her gaze dropped to the floor.

"Woman," Derek growled, "don't you dare try to tell me what I did or what I felt."

"I saw her Derek!" Penelope looked up at him her eyes holding his he could see the anger and the hurt in them "I saw Tamara in your home in your pajamas, so don't you sit there and deny what I'm saying! I know what I saw."

Derek tried to interrupt, but again Penelope cut him off not letting him get any further.

"I took a couple of days after the doctor confirmed my pregnancy , two days to get over the shock and the fear and then to embrace the fact that I was going to be a mom. To get used to the idea that I was carrying a baby, our baby. After two months of feeling so terribly alone I realized I wasn't alone anymore." She looked up at Derek and gave him a small smile. "I won't lie I was beyond scared after what happened between us," Penelope sighed "how it all ended…." Penelope trailed off her voice catching as she tried to regain control and stop the tears that threatened to fall. I was trying so hard to do the right thing wondering if having this baby was even an option afraid of what more damage it would do to us."

"Baby Girl," Derek interrupted. Penelope's head shot up her narrowed eyes let him know that the use of her old nickname was not okay.

He tried again, "Penelope that night.."

Penelope raised a hand to silence him. "Please Derek, just let me get this out. I know you have things that you need to say, and I promise you will get your chance...but for right now can I please just get this out?"

"Okay, Penelope...as long as you realize that I will have a chance to talk, too." She gave him a nod, and he sat back, waiting for her to continue.

"I had my first ultrasound on Valentine's Day and after seeing her, and hearing her heartbeat, I had no choice. I knew I had to tell you. A few nights later after you had gotten home from a case I went to your house." Penelope paused and took a deep breath. " I was so nervous but I was determined not to leave until I told you ..until I showed you the sonogram and I made you understand that I would do whatever I could for us to work this out so you could be a part of our child's life. "

Penelope paused Derek could see her bracing herself preparing herself to open this hurt and let it just come out and be told. "I knocked on your door not knowing what to expect not even sure if you would answer we hadn't spoken in so long." Again, she paused. Derek sat there, trying to be patient, wanting to understand what the hell had happened but not wanting to push he was trying to let her do this at her own pace on her own time. She choked on a sob and took a deep shuddering breath. "What I didn't expect was your door being opened by Tamara wearing only your pajama shirt. " Penelope gave a small laugh and shook her head. " Anyway like an idiot I actually asked her if you were home." Again, she shook her head. "Tamara was more than happy to inform me that you were indeed home, but that you were a little tied up at the moment. She even managed to throw me a smile and a wink just in case I didn't get the picture."

Penelope was pacing now, wringing her hands together. "Derek I can't even begin to tell you what that did to me. Not only was the night we spent together a mistake to you, but you had moved on straight from me back into Tamara's bed." She let out a strangled laugh "I couldn't

even look at another man. You had just moved on like it was nothing." Penelope looked Derek right in the eye not holding anything back allowing him to see the pain and anguish that she felt.

Derek hung his head in shame. He had no idea that Penelope even suspected that he was back with Tamara, much less had seen it with her own eyes. He felt such shame that she thought he felt so little about what they had shared, that she felt he had replaced her so easily.

Penelope continued, "So after having the weekend to think about it, on Monday when you all got called out on a case, and I knew it was going to be a long one, I went straight to the Director and asked for a transfer. He told me that after all the time I had put in and the hard work I had done, he would hate to do it but that he would grant me my transfer to wherever I would like to go as long as he knew where I was.

"He told me that I could leave as soon as Kevin was ready to take over. I went home and called a friend to discuss everything with him just to try and get another opinion an unbiased point of view and he actually knew of a job that was perfect for me. I applied the next day for the position and got it. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason so I had to believe that everything making it so easy for me to leave .. it just made sense that I was doing the right thing. Within a week I got a new job, sold my apartment, and had Kevin trained".

Derek sat there listening to Penelope, finding himself getting more and more agitated at how easy it was for her to walk away from everything, from him. Deep down he knew he was wrong to be angry. He knew it looked like he had moved on so why shouldn't she. But he was so desperate to hang on to his anger, to crucify her again and again for keeping his daughter from him. Before he could stop himself like he knew he should, he let loose. " So you ran. You took the easy way out!" he shouted at her.

As soon as he said the words he wished he could take them back when he saw the look on Penelope's face, the utter devastation, he watched her shudder and knew that he had just shattered her. She snapped and was no longer in control of her anger.

"I took the easy way out?" she spat. "I left the only friends and family I have. I left the man I love . I left my job, and I left my home. I left it all behind and why? I left it all behind to not put you in the position where you would forever be tied to me through a child." She sneered at him. "That's right, I took the easy way out I moved to a strange city, I went to almost every doctors appointment, lamaze class, and sonogram alone. I went into labour, gave birth and brought our daughter home with only a small group of friends for support." She stormed past Derek toward the bedroom.

Derek knew that in her head she was already making plans to put as much distance as she could between them as fast as possible. He leapt off the couch and grabbed her arm in a desperate act to stop her to make her slow down and stay.

Penelope jerked her arm out of his hand like her flesh had been touched by an open flame . "Get your damn hand off me Morgan!" she yelled. "Don't you ever touch me again!"


End file.
